Men fear sexual affairs - but women are more upset if their partner falls in love with someone else

  • Study by Chapman University, California, found 54 per cent of heterosexual men were more likely to be more hurt by sexual infidelity
  • But 65 per cent of women would be more hurt if their partner fell in love
  • Experts claim this is because of evolutionary differences where men fear they may not be the father of their partner's baby 

By Sophie Freeman For Mailonline

Published: | Updated:

Just the thought of you partner cheating may make you feel queasy.

But a new study has found that men and women fear different scenarios more.

Most men would be more upset if their other half had a sexual affair, but women would be more hurt by emotional infidelity, researchers have claimed.  

The fear: A new study has found that most men would be more upset if their other half had a sexual affair (illustrated with a stock image), but women would be more hurt by emotional infidelity, researchers have claimed, citing evolutionary reasons

The fear: A new study has found that most men would be more upset if their other half had a sexual affair (illustrated with a stock image), but women would be more hurt by emotional infidelity, researchers have claimed, citing evolutionary reasons

Scientists asked 64,000 people what would upset them more: their partners having sex with someone else - but not falling in love with them – or their partners falling in love – but not having sex with them.

They found that 54 per cent of heterosexual men were more likely to be more hurt by sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity, whereas just 35 per cent of women would be more hurt by sex than if their partner fell in love with another person. 

The gender differences emerged across age groups, income levels, history of being cheated on, history of being unfaithful as well as the length of relationships.

But gay men and women did not differ significantly in how they felt, according to the study of people aged from 18-65. 

Men fear sexual infidelity more because if his partner becomes pregnant, he cannot be sure the baby will be his, the researchers said

Men fear sexual infidelity more because if his partner becomes pregnant, he cannot be sure the baby will be his, the researchers said

The results, published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour, were consistent with the evolutionary perspective of paternal uncertainty, the researchers said.

That is, if a man is in a relationship with a woman and she becomes pregnant, he can never be sure if that child is his, or has been fathered by someone else - barring a paternity test - and will therefore fear sexual infidelity more.

In contrast, women never face the problem of maternal uncertainty, because they can be sure that the child they are carrying is theirs.

So while it is expected that both men and women will experience sexual jealousy, ‘men may exhibit particularly heightened responses compared with women’, according to the researchers at Chapman University in Orange, California.

‘While women do not face maternal uncertainty, they risk the potential loss of resources and commitment from partners [as they are left with a child to care for] if their partner channels their investment to another mate.’

The researchers explained that men are brought up to be masculine, which includes having great sexual prowess.

‘If a man’s partner commits sexual infidelity, this brings into question his sexual prowess and therefore threatens his masculinity, which leads him to react more negatively to his partner committing sexual rather than emotional infidelity,’ they said.

‘In contrast, women are taught to think relationally and to be emotional nurturers in a relationship.

‘If their partner commits emotional infidelity, this may threaten her sense of self more so than if her partner commits sexual infidelity.’

YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO CHEAT APPROACHING A MILESTONE BIRTHDAY 

People who are 29, 39, 49 or 59 are more likely to cheat and make life-changing decisions as they approach a milestone birthday, a study published in November revealed.

Researchers analysed the responses of 42,000 adults from more than 100 countries who completed a survey about their values between 2010 and 2014.

They found that people with an age ending in nine were more likely to make changes ‘that suggest a search for meaning’ such as taking up marathon running or joining an extramarital dating site.

Lead author Adam Alter, from New York University, said: ‘People audit the meaningfulness of their lives as they approach a new decade.

'People tend to either conclude happily that their lives are meaningful or they decide their lives lack meaning.

'...some people might struggle to come to terms with the conclusion that their lives lack meaning. They might seek a socially damaging extramarital affair.'

The researchers obtained data from an online dating site that targets people who are already in a relationship and found that there were far more 9-ender men - 18 per cent more - than would be expected by chance.

Further analysis found a similar, though less-pronounced, pattern of results for women.

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