'She begged me for a baby so she wouldn't be an old mom and paid $30,000 to our surrogate.' Sherri Shepherd's estranged husband lifts lid on marriage to star - who has refused to even meet 7-week-old boy she's forced onto welfare

  • Lamar Sally can't believe that Sherri Shepherd won't even see the baby she wanted so desperately
  • He says Sherri earned $3m at The View, but has denied the baby any child support, including medical insurance
  • Sally claims Sherri is a pack rat who spends $25,000 a month on shoes and dresses 
  • 'We were really home bodies, we watched Scandal together, I would throw a couple of steaks or lobster tails on the grill' 
  • Sherri has been seeing a therapist for years, claims Sally
  • He refutes suggestions he ever cheated on Sherri 
  • On being accused of hawking racy pictures of his wife, he says: 'Hell, if I had naked pictures of Sherri we would probably still be together'

Even before Sherri Shepherd married Lamar Sally, she was begging to have a child with the Los Angeles-based scriptwriter.

'I don't want to be an old mother,' the 47-year-old ex co-host of The View told him.

'Actually, that is one of the reasons we married after only a year - because she was ready to do this,' Sally told MailOnline in an exclusive interview. 'I wanted to wait another year or two to get married but having a baby with me was so important to her I said OK, let's do it.'

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Proud papa: Larmar Sally Jr., or LJ as his father Lamar Sally calls him, was born to a surrogate on August 5. Sally adores his son, but Sherri Shepherd has refused to have anything to do with the child she wanted so badly

Proud papa: Larmar Sally Jr., or LJ as his father Lamar Sally calls him, was born to a surrogate on August 5. Sally adores his son, but Sherri Shepherd has refused to have anything to do with the child she wanted so badly

Happy baby: LJ is adored by his father, who remains mystified as to why Sherri and he split up

Happy baby: LJ is adored by his father, who remains mystified as to why Sherri and he split up

Open wide: No teeth yet,  but LJ has a great appetite, says dad. Because health insurance is so expensive and Sherri has refused to put him on her insurance, Lamar had to sign him up for Medi-cal

Open wide: No teeth yet,  but LJ has a great appetite, says dad. Because health insurance is so expensive and Sherri has refused to put him on her insurance, Lamar had to sign him up for Medi-cal

Happy day: Sherri and Lamar met at a so-called 'Meet the Browns,' party, where a happily married couple, in this case mutual friends, Niecy Nash and her husband, Jay Tucker, welcome their single friends and hope something clicks between the couples. Lamar asked Niecy for Sherri's number the next day

Happy day: Sherri and Lamar met at a so-called 'Meet the Browns,' party, where a happily married couple, in this case mutual friends, Niecy Nash and her husband, Jay Tucker, welcome their single friends and hope something clicks between the couples. Lamar asked Niecy for Sherri's number the next day

But Sherri's eggs were not viable, so the couple decided on surrogacy, using Sally's sperm and a donor egg. Their baby was born to a surrogate on August 5.

But Sherri wants no part of it. 

And now Sally is embroiled in a nasty divorce battle with his estranged wife and the newborn is at the center of the conflict. Sherri wants nothing to do with the baby and furious Lamar is fighting for Sherri to take responsibility emotionally and financially for the child that she wanted so desperately.

As 44-year-old Sally croons to his son,  Lamar Jr., he says he was blindsided by Sherri's sudden departure from his life and her cold refusal to recognize their baby.

'To this day, I cannot pinpoint one thing that caused us to split up,' he tells MailOnline..'Honestly I do not know what happened. No one was cheating, we didn't fight much and we didn't have money problems.'

Sherri and Lamar met at a so-called 'Meet the Browns,' party, where a happily married couple, in this case mutual friends, Niecy Nash and her husband, Jay Tucker, welcome their single friends.

Nine single women and nine single men were invited to the casual soiree to hopefully make a connection.

Bonding: 'I waited 40 years to get married and have kids,' says Sally.  'I wanted to do things the right way. Never wanted to have children out of wedlock and only be a weekend or checkbook dad' 

Bonding: 'I waited 40 years to get married and have kids,' says Sally.  'I wanted to do things the right way. Never wanted to have children out of wedlock and only be a weekend or checkbook dad' 

'I liked that Sherri was really down to earth,' Lamar explained.

'She didn't seem like she was one of those Hollywood-type women who was high maintenance and when they played the game 'Taboo' she was competitive and I loved that about her too.

'We didn't get together that night but Niecy told me that Sherri wanted me to call her so I did and we talked for six hours.'

They began dating soon after, got engaged the following years, and in August 2011 they married in a lavish ceremony in Chicago, Sherri's hometown.

Lamar says he thought it was too soon to think about having children and wanted them to just live together for a while. But Sherri was pushing it because she wanted another child and didn't want to be an old mother.

'I waited 40 years to get married and have kids. I wanted to do things the right way. Never wanted to have children out of wedlock and only be a weekend or checkbook dad, Sally insists.

'But we were having trouble conceiving so she went through in vitro fertilization, like she did with Jeffrey.' 

Sherri was married to comedian Jeffrey Tarpley when she had son, Jeffrey in 2005. She was pregnant with fraternal twins (one boy and one girl) but miscarried the girl, Jeffrey was born almost three months premature, leaving him with developmental delays. Sherri and Jeffrey divorced the year she met Sally.

Sally continues, 'We got the bad news that the doctors found none of her eggs were viable. I told her that we should try again but when she said she didn't want to and that we should use my sperm and get a surrogate.

Wedding day: Sherri and Lamar were married in 2011 and her son Jeffrey from her previous marriage was part of the celebration. 

Wedding day: Sherri and Lamar were married in 2011 and her son Jeffrey from her previous marriage was part of the celebration. 

Quality time: Lamar says he thought it was too soon to think about having children and wanted them to just live together for a while. But Sherri was pushing it because she wanted another child right away

Quality time: Lamar says he thought it was too soon to think about having children and wanted them to just live together for a while. But Sherri was pushing it because she wanted another child right away

Family affair: Lamar says he treated Jeffrey like his own son from the very beginning

Family affair: Lamar says he treated Jeffrey like his own son from the very beginning

Celebrate: The couple married in Chicago, Sherri's home town, and welcomed all their friends and family

Celebrate: The couple married in Chicago, Sherri's home town, and welcomed all their friends and family

'I talked to her about it many times because I really wanted to make sure this is something she wanted to do and she said yes, that she was determined to have a child with me so I finally agreed.

'I gave in because I loved her and wanted to make her happy.'

For a while the marriage was great. 

'Sherri and I often watched TV at night, we loved quiet nights at home. We were really home bodies, well, at least she was. I wanted to go out more often but she didn't want to do much so most of the time we were at home.

 'Boy, could she buys some shoes! Sherri is a shopaholic for shoes.

'Sherri and I loved to stay home and watch Scandal together every week. I would throw a couple of steaks on the grill or lobster tails and then we would sit down together and enjoy the show. 

'I often had a glass of wine with my dinner but since Sherri was a diabetic, she did not drink alcohol. 

'And we didn't really snack either because of her diabetes. She was really careful about her health in that way.'

But she wasn't as careful with her wallet. 

'Boy, could she buys some shoes! Sherri is a shopaholic for shoes. I would say her average American Express bill was $25,000 and although she did buy things for Jeffrey it was mostly dresses and a ton of shoes for herself.

'Sherri was also a very messy person. She was a pack-rat. I always had to go behind her and pick up after her and that was so annoying to me.

Daddy's boy: Lamar is thrilled to have LJ, but can't understand how Sherri doesn't want to be part of his life, even if they're not together. 'Finding the surrogate was a long process,' Sally explains. 'From the time we decided to do this, finding the right person took about 8 months. So that's why I don't understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child. It's mind boggling to me'
Daddy's boy: Lamar is thrilled to have LJ, but can't understand how Sherri doesn't want to be part of his life, even if they're not together. 'Finding the surrogate was a long process,' Sally explains. 'From the time we decided to do this, finding the right person took about 8 months. So that's why I don't understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child. It's mind boggling to me'

Daddy's boy: Lamar is thrilled to have LJ, but can't understand how Sherri doesn't want to be part of his life, even if they're not together. 'Finding the surrogate was a long process,' Sally explains. 'From the time we decided to do this, finding the right person took about 8 months. So that's why I don't understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child. It's mind boggling to me'

'She shopped excessively but refused to balance a checkbook. Sherri made $3 million last year but she didn't know how much she has in the bank.

'She is obsessed with her career. She is always worried about the next step and if one little thing goes wrong she falls into what I like to say is 'gloom and doom' attitude.'

Sherri is now appearing on Broadway in Rogers & Hammerstein's Cinderella. She was reportedly fired from The View at the end of last season after the decision was made to bring on Rosie O'Donnell.

'I always had to give her a pep talk to get her out of the funk! I was her cheerleader every single day of our marriage.And to tell you the truth, I got so sick of it.

'But what was really shocking to me was that she didn't know her salary! When we decided to get married we started to discuss our finances, our bills and how we were going to run the household. So I asked her how much money does she make on 'The View' and she said she didn't know! 

'That blew me away. I asked her, "OK, but you had to sign your W-2 for taxes, what did they say?" and she said she didn't know, that she just signed them. 

'Sherri has a business manager, who paid all of her bills for her so she had no idea how much was coming in or how much was going out. After we got married that all changed. I made sure the bills were paid on time and I kept Sherri up to speed on what was going on.

'I was upset about this so I made her sit down and watch the regular series 'American Greed' on TV so she could see how easily people can get ripped off.

'I wanted her to be more responsible and aware of the household finances. I am very good with money, I have always put myself on a budget so it was irritating to me that she doesn't take care of business. When we got married I ran the house and put my own career on hold. 

Cutting ties: A letter from Sherri's lawyer advised Lamar that she has no relationship with Lamar Jr. and would not be covered by Sherri's health plan.

Cutting ties: A letter from Sherri's lawyer advised Lamar that she has no relationship with Lamar Jr. and would not be covered by Sherri's health plan.

Diaper duty: Lamar does it all for his baby son, but he has some help from a cousin, who has moved out to LA from Detroit to help
Diaper duty: Lamar does it all for his baby son, but he has some help from a cousin, who has moved out to LA from Detroit to help

Diaper duty: Lamar does it all for his baby son, but he has some help from a cousin, who has moved out to LA from Detroit to help
Diaper duty: Lamar does it all for his baby son, but he has some help from a cousin, who has moved out to LA from Detroit to help

Diaper duty: Lamar does it all for his baby son, but he has some help from a cousin, who has moved out to LA from Detroit to help

'After a while we got settled in and I knew my role and she knew hers. It was working,' says Sally.

'Sherri has a lot of trust issues that she brought into this marriage from her relationship with her ex-husband, Jeffrey,' Sally explains. 

'I  tried to prove to Sherri that I am not her ex-husband or any of the other guys who have been in her life and for a while we would be OK. But then a few days later we were back to square one and it was exhausting.

 'She wanted to be married but we kept most of our finances separate. We did have one bank account together but it was modest amount.

'Sherri also didn't want me to work outside of our marriage because she kept saying I was going to get rich and leave her high and dry. That was a never-ending discussion at home and with her therapist the entire time we were married.'

Lamar explained Sherri was already going to see a clinical psychologist in New York, before they married and she asked him to go with her.

Her husband wanted to give her moral support her so he immediately agreed.

Lamar did not want to go into details of her emotional problems in detail.

 When asked about the rumor that he was planning to release naked photos of Sherri on the Internet her quickly replied; 'No. There is no truth to that. Hell, if I had naked pictures of Sherri we would probably still be together.

Pacified: LJ is as peaceful as can be. Sherri told Lamar, 'it's your sperm, not my egg so it's YOUR baby'

Pacified: LJ is as peaceful as can be. Sherri told Lamar, 'it's your sperm, not my egg so it's YOUR baby'

'We went to the see the therapist for an hour or sometimes two hours every Wednesday afternoon and it was always the same thing!

'The doctor told me her issues were 'workable' if she was willing, but she kept going over the same stuff week after week. Then we would go home and we never worked on anything together.

'It was such a waste of time so for awhile I stopped going with her because nothing was getting through to her.'

'She wanted me to be happy being a house-husband, but when I told her I needed to work for my own sanity she got angry.

 There was a local cafe that she ordered from every night. Sherri ordered from them so much that they knew her credit card number.

'Sherri didn't understand why I didn't want to just stay at home and take care of the kids, Jeffrey and the new baby on the way.

'She even talked to our friends about it, asking what was wrong with me, why I wouldn't be happy just being at home while she worked.

'I also did all of the cooking because she doesn't cook at all. When we met Sherri she told me she hadn't cooked in 10 years. 

'There was a local cafe that she ordered from every night. Sherri ordered from them so much that they knew her credit card number. That really annoyed me because she just blew through money like that. 

'So, I started cooking. Sherri's favorite dish was bacon-wrapped scallops with apple-vinegar reduction sauce. Sherri was not obsessed with her weight but she would go on a diet when she needed to lose a few pounds.

In August 2013 they announced together on 'The Tom Joyner Morning' nationally syndicated radio show that they found a wonderful young lady to be a surrogate to have their child.

No ho ho: 'Yes, we had problems and argued like most married couples,' says Lamar.  'But nothing major. Then one day, out of the blue, Sherri asked for a divorce while we were at a session with the therapist. She said she didn't think she could be the kind of wife I needed her to be

No ho ho: 'Yes, we had problems and argued like most married couples,' says Lamar.  'But nothing major. Then one day, out of the blue, Sherri asked for a divorce while we were at a session with the therapist. She said she didn't think she could be the kind of wife I needed her to be

'Finding the surrogate was a long process,' Sally explains. 'From the time we decided to do this and finding the right person took about 8 months. So that's why I don't understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child. It's mind boggling to me.

'We went through an agency. You go on their web site and list your profiles and then we interviewed a few people.

'The woman we finally selected is 5'10", very athletic. She was once a volleyball player. She's a vegetarian but was willing to drink protein shakes to make sure the baby would be healthy. 

'The year before she had twins so we knew she knew how to take care of herself while she was pregnant. That made us both feel secure in our decision.

'But while the surrogate was pregnant Sherri decided she wanted to get a divorce.

'I was absolutely floored by that but then she decided she didn't want the baby either

'Sherri told me, "it's your sperm, not my egg so it's YOUR baby"'

'It was like she had ripped my heart out of my chest, this was not the Sherri I knew and not the woman I fell in love with and married,' Lamar says..

After the baby was born on August 5, Sherri did not want to know anything about him, didn't want to see him and would not allow the baby to be on her SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) insurance even though Sally's attorney claimed it could be 'without prejudice,' until their court case was finalized.

'But she still said no,' says Sally.

'My attorney tried to convince Sherri that it would not reflect on the case at all and that it would not imply that she was taking responsibility as a parent to have the child on her insurance but she still refused and told me to get on Medicaid.

Hush-a-bye:  Finding the surrogate was a long process, Sally explains. 'From the time we decided to do this and finding the right person took about 8 months. So that's why I don't understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child. We went through an agency. The woman we finally selected is 5'10", very athletic. She was once a volleyball player'

Hush-a-bye:  Finding the surrogate was a long process, Sally explains. 'From the time we decided to do this and finding the right person took about 8 months. So that's why I don't understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child. We went through an agency. The woman we finally selected is 5'10", very athletic. She was once a volleyball player'

Sally ended up getting Medi-cal, California's welfare program for health insurance,for the baby. The government is now going after the surrogate for child support.

'Since Sherri's name is not on the birth certificate by law the birth mother's name is filed on the certificate.' 

Lamar claims that the surrogate is being held responsible for helping him supporting the baby.

'The surrogate is a single 23-year-old waitress, who has two children of her own, and now is being hit with this awful situation.

 'We paid her $30,000 to be our surrogate and it helped out her family a lot but now it's becoming an awful burden and I feel horrible about it and Sherri doesn't care one bit.'

 We went to a therapist for four years but nothing changed. Sherri has deep emotional issues that she's been dealing with long before she met me and they are only getting worse.

He says Sherri signed all of the papers leading up the surrogacy except the pre-birth order, the order that would allow her name be put on the birth certificate once the surrogate had the baby. 

'Sherri kept forgetting to sign it or she lost it a couple of times. At the time I didn't think anything about it because she was always so forgetful or losing things but now looking back it seems suspicious.

'The surrogate sacrificed a lot for us. She was on bed rest for weeks and this all took time away from her own children but this still did not move Sherri.'

According to Lamar, this is the basis for the lawsuit he brought against his estranged wife, not because he wants money, but rather to make Sherri take responsibility for the decision to have this child with him. 

Sherri paid for the surrogate and often talked about wanting and planning for this child on The View so she cannot just walk away now because she changed her mind, he insists.

'I couldn't save Sherri from herself! I tried many times but nothing helped and things got so bad at the end that I could never go back to her now!' a frustrated Sally explained.

'We went to a therapist for four years but nothing changed. Sherri has deep emotional issues that she's been dealing with long before she met me and they are only getting worse.

The look of love: Lamar currently lives in a small two-bedroom apartment in a four-story building with underground parking for the tenants in Los Angeles. The kitchenette is to the right of the front door as you enter the apartment and the dining area is to the left but he cannot fit a table there because the space is full of baby diapers, gifts he received at the two baby showers he had

The look of love: Lamar currently lives in a small two-bedroom apartment in a four-story building with underground parking for the tenants in Los Angeles. The kitchenette is to the right of the front door as you enter the apartment and the dining area is to the left but he cannot fit a table there because the space is full of baby diapers, gifts he received at the two baby showers he had

'Yes, we had problems and argued like most married couples but nothing major. Then one day, out of the blue, Sherri asked for a divorce while we were at a session with the therapist. She said she didn't think she could be the kind of wife I needed her to be.

'But I thought she was just in one of her moods and would change her mind in a couple of days, like she does everything else.

'There were times when Sherri wanted us to work on projects together and then the very next day she would change her mind and say, 'NO! I don't want to work with you.'

'This went on throughout our marriage, one day she's on and the next she's off. So when she asked for a divorce I just left it alone and expected her to say she didn't mean it and let's get back to work.

'I stayed in the house for another two weeks and we were going along like nothing had changed.

'But then I found out through some friends that Sherri had hired two attorneys and was getting ready to file for divorce.

'I was shocked, never saw it coming and I was really hurt and confused — still am.

 Sherri and I went into this marriage saying that a divorce was not an option, that no matter what, we would work out our problems.

'But that's when I packed up and moved back to Los Angeles.

 'I never gave up my Los Angeles apartment, and it was the smartest thing I have ever done.

'To this day, I remember my father always told me to always have your own place because you never know when you will need it and always have a nice black suit

Lamar currently lives in a small two-bedroom apartment in Ia four-story building with underground parking for the tenants.

Lamar squeezed a 55-inch big screen Sony television into the already small living room so he can watch all of his favorite sports.

The kitchenette is to the right of the front door as you enter the apartment and the dining area is to the left but he cannot fit a table there because the space is full of baby diapers, gifts he received at the two baby showers he had, one  in Los Angeles with friends and the other in his home town of Detroit with family and close friends.

Lamar's cousin has moved out to LA to help Lamar with the baby and she stays in the second bedroom. 

While it's a far cry from the five-bedroom home he shared with Sherri in New Jersey, he says he's comfortable and drama free.

'I never thought it would end this way. I wasn't thinking in the back of my head if this doesn't work out I will keep this place.

'I actually kept this apartment because we were going back and forth to New York on a regular basis so it was more practical and convenient to stay here than in a hotel.

'As a matter of fact, Sherri and I went into this marriage saying that a divorce was not an option, that no matter what, we would work out our problems.

 'Sherri just walked away from a marriage, a husband and a baby without looking back. And these are all of the things she said she wanted!

Hands on: 'All I can do it to take care of my son the best way I know how,' says Sally.  But I feel sorry for Sherri. I don't hate her or have any bitterness but one day she is going to have to sit down and explain to LJ that she turned her back on him and I don't know how she is going to do that

Hands on: 'All I can do it to take care of my son the best way I know how,' says Sally.  But I feel sorry for Sherri. I don't hate her or have any bitterness but one day she is going to have to sit down and explain to LJ that she turned her back on him and I don't know how she is going to do that

Lamar is now spending his days taking care of the baby and preparing to go back into the classroom.

'I was once a 3rd grade teacher and a high school English teacher so I am getting certified and will hopefully, be back to teaching very soon.

'All I can do it to take care of my son the best way I know how but I feel sorry for Sherri. I don't hate her or have any bitterness but one day she is going to have to sit down and explain to LJ  that she turned her back on him and I don't know how she is going to do that.

'Sherri has admitted to a couple of friends that I did NOT dupe her into having this child and I can prove it. She just changed her mind about having this baby like it was nothing, just another day for her.

 She recently offered $150,000 to make me go away but it was unacceptable.

'Sherri knows she is wrong and that's why she has tried to buy me off!

'She recently offered $150,000 to make me go away but it was unacceptable. I want her to co-parent with me like we agreed.

'Sherri is the one who initiated the surrogacy and we agreed to do this together, she wanted this child more than anything.

'Sherri made $3 million last year and offers $150,000 for a lifetime of care for a child? No way, we're going to court.

'So she calls me up and start to demanding to know why I would not accept the pay-off and I told her it's not about the money but both of them being parents to this little baby.

Now Lamar is afraid she will do to him what she did to her last husband. When Sherri divorced Jeff Tarpley it took four years and the legal fees were $600,000, says Sally.

'Obviously, Sherri knows I don't have a lot of money so she is planning on keeping me tied up in court until I give in because if I lose I would have to pay all of my own legal fees.

'I have tried to work this out with her but she is being unreasonable, I even said let's not make the attorneys rich, let's sit down and work this out together and privately but she has refused.

Sleepytime selfie:  'Sherri and I often watched TV at night,' Sally reveals. 'We loved quiet nights at home. We were really home bodies.' They loved to watch 'Scandal' together every week. 'I would throw a couple of steaks on the grill or lobster tails and then we would sit down together and enjoy the show' '

Sleepytime selfie:  'Sherri and I often watched TV at night,' Sally reveals. 'We loved quiet nights at home. We were really home bodies.' They loved to watch 'Scandal' together every week. 'I would throw a couple of steaks on the grill or lobster tails and then we would sit down together and enjoy the show' '

'But I want to make this very clear, 

'I want Sherri to stop lying about me. I was a good husband to her, I was not a deadbeat, I worked with her, for her, I was a good parent to her son, Jeffrey and I did not steal any money from her.

'And I never once cheated on Sherri, these are all lies and she should stop trying to ruin my reputation. I have to work in this business too. Sherri needs to think about what she is doing because one day she is going to wake up and regret all of this.

'And I hope she never gets married again unless she finally accepts — and works on — the help she needs.'

'I loved Sherri because I thought she was genuinely a nice person, that is, up until now. I never thought she would be capable of turning her back on this baby. But when we were together we laughed a lot, we enjoyed each other's company. That's why when she asked for a divorce it was such a blow to me! Like I was hit with a sledgehammer.'

Lamar says he would never get back with Sherri because any woman who could walk away from a baby is not the woman or wife he wants in his life. 

'Sherri broke my heart but now that a little time has passed I am so glad to be out of that situation. I was hers but she was never mine.'

Sherri Shepherd did not respond to MailOnline's requests for comment. 

 

 

 

 

 

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