Crapwagon Outtake: 1967 Pontiac Stageway Airporter

When I think of limousines, I think of high school and those classmates, who actually had dates to prom, enjoying a hired Lincoln or Cadillac. Dateless Chris worked on prom night, slinging hot doughnuts to hungry stoners and peace officers alike. I can perhaps stretch my perception of a limo to the lengthened sport utilities so often seen lately, as I’m sure body-on-frame trucks are easier to lengthen than unibody front-drive sedans.

However, if I see a stretched Porsche Macan hauling sweaty teens this May, I’ll likely throw my keyboard in disgust.

I struggle to imagine the typical use of today’s featured ride — a 1967 Pontiac Stageway Airporter. Horny high-schoolers in the “Summer of Love” were unlikely to enjoy four bench seats, though the station wagon cargo area could yield results.

I’m sure the answer to this cars purpose is in its name — Airporter — a ’60s shuttle bus for the jet age. I love the massive rooftop luggage rack, and wonder how much weight it could support as a parade float. Another option is as a professional car for funerals, so grieving family can take one last ride with the deceased.

I love that this eBay seller has included the original list price sheet. This 12-passenger wagon would have cost $8,000 when new, but only offered seatbelts for two front-seat occupants. Each additional belt was $8.12. The rear air conditioner was another $709.63.

The Armbruster-Stageway company is still building professional cars in Arkansas, primarily based on the customary Cadillac rather than some dead brand. Thank goodness for that, as nobody wants their loved one’s casket loaded into a stretched Pontiac G6.

Chris Tonn is a broke classic car enthusiast that writes about old cars, since he can’t afford to buy them. Commiserate with him on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.